


Tell me why I'm waiting

by RegalDreamer



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/No Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, but first there is angst, no beta we die like men, the linzin is not major, there is going to be a happy ending, this turned out angstier than I originally planned, young kyalin, young linzin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-20 12:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30005136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegalDreamer/pseuds/RegalDreamer
Summary: Kya rested her head on Lin’s shoulder. At that simple gesture Lin’s body tensed. A warm feeling came over, her heart rate quickened, and her hands got sweaty. Why was her body reacting like that? When Kya looked at her with those eyes Lin could swear her heart started beating even faster than it already was
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recently listened to the song Cobarde by mexican singer Ximena Sariñana and I could not stop thinking about young Kyalin and well, this happened. A big thank you to Penny and Thais who have been listening and encouraging me to write this 
> 
> Each chapter changes from Lin and Kya's POV and they each are inspired by lyrics of the song. I'll post a literal translation of the fragments I'm using at the end. Here Lin and Tenzin are 18 and Kya is 20 (17 and 19 in the flashback)
> 
> English isn't my first language so if anything looks off just let me know!
> 
> cw: Internalized homophobia/homophobic thoughts

**_Si es verdad que tú te vas_ **

**_Y ya no hay vuelta atrás_ **

It had been almost a year since Kya had kissed her at the beach and left Lin utterly confused.

* * *

_Lin had gone to Air Temple Island to get away from her house. Su was getting on her nerves more than usual that day and her mother was too busy at the station. She assumed both Tenzin and Kya would be there, Bumi had left for the United Forces earlier that year. However, she found out Tenzin left for the Northern Air Temple with Aang that morning, so it was only Kya. Lin was content to just spend some time with her friend. The two girls had spent the afternoon sparring and Lin stayed for dinner afterwards. By the end of the night Kya had accompanied Lin to the docks, waiting for the ferry back to Republic City. They missed it by a couple minutes and it would be a while until the next one, so they went down to the beach, Lin sat down on the sand, happily watching Kya while she stayed by the water and created random figures with her bending._

_“I want to get out of here.”_

_Lin raised her head (she had lied down on the sand once Kya started humming some air nomad song) and looked at her friend in confusion. It was Kya’s idea to go to the beach before the next ferry arrived. “Kya, we just got here.”_

_Kya rolled her eyes as she let the water down, back to the sea, and sat next to Lin on the sand. “Not the beach, dummy. I mean_ here _as in Republic City. I want to travel.”_

_Lin was still just as confused. She couldn’t see herself leaving Republic City, she liked it here, and had started to consider joining the police academy after finishing school._

_“Why?”_

_“It can be too much sometimes. I want to get away from all the pressure of being Avatar Aang and Master Katara’s daughter. I just want to be_ Kya _, you know? No extra titles next to my name”_

_“I guess I get it, part of it, anyway.” And Lin could really understand that feeling, to a certain extent. Being the daughter of Toph Beifong, the best earth bender in the world, Chief of Police, and the inventor of metalbending was hard enough. But Lin wanted to be seen_ apart _from her mother. Create a name for herself, not run away._

_Kya hummed, not saying anything else while looking at the sea. It didn’t take her long to start humming the song again, this time resting her head on Lin’s shoulder. At that simple gesture Lin’s body tensed. A warm feeling came over, her heart rate quickened, and her hands got sweaty. Why was her body reacting like that? Kya looked up to her, head still on Lin’s shoulder. And Lin could swear her heart started beating even faster than it already was when Kya looked at her with those eyes._

_Before Lin could think of saying something, Kya leaned and pressed her lips to Lin’s. The kiss was clumsy. Lin had never kissed anyone before but Kya seemed content leading and clearly had more experience kissing than Lin had. Kya’s lips felt soft against hers and she melted at her touch. Before she realized,_ Kya is a girl. _Girls are not supposed to kiss each other, it isn’t normal. Lin shouldn’t be enjoying kissing Kya because it’s not okay._

_Lin pushes Kya away, and hates herself when she can detect a bit of hurt on those blue eyes._

_“Kya, I, what?”_

_“I’m sorry, Lin, I-I didn’t me- I should have asked y-”_

_Lin looks back at the docks, her head is in a haze, and spots the ferry nearing the island._

_“I have to go.” Lin says, quickly standing up from her seating position on the sand, grabbing her bag and all but running to board the ferry back._

_When they see each other again about two weeks later, neither girl mentions the kiss, and after a month Tenzin had asked Lin on a date. Soon Lin and Kya had stopped talking as they used to._

* * *

Now, a year after the event on the beach, Lin was still determined on forgetting that memory. She and Tenzin have been together for one year, there was no need to deal with the feelings Kya provoked in her. Nope. The kiss they shared definitely did not haunt the back of her mind when she couldn’t sleep at night.

Neither of them had spoken about that time at the beach, and had slowly stopped talking as they used to once she and Tenzin started dating, merely sharing polite but awkward conversations when she, Su, and Toph were all over at Air Temple Island for dinner.

Still, it comes as a surprise to her when Tenzin brings up Kya leaving Republic City to travel. She doesn’t register what he says next, barely catching the words “tomorrow” and “Fire Nation”. The rest of the world becomes a blur, her head is in a daze because _Kya is leaving._ She stands up from the bench she and Tenzin were sitting on in the gardens of Air Temple Island, leaving him behind as she runs to find Kya.

She finds her reading a book at the top of a cliff, facing the sea. Kya looks up from her reading as she hears Lin approaching.

“Lin?” She questions, a tone of disbelief in her voice.

“Tenzin says you’re leaving.” It’s more of a question rather than a statement, a hint of dread in her tone. Lin rests her hands on her knees, catching her breath. She did run around the island trying to find Kya, wanting to hear it from her. 

Kya sets her book aside, her gaze fixed on the sea below them, shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow. I've got a ticket for the Fire Nation."

"When did that happen?"

Kya let out a humorless laugh, eyes still fixed on the sea as Lin got closer, her breath more even now. "I've been wanting to leave for a while now. The last few months have been," her voice falters and Kya sucks in a breath, as if getting herself some time, choosing her words carefully. "frustrating." She finally settles on. "This city and being the avatar's daughter has become suffocating lately. I got the ticket two weeks ago."

Two weeks?! Kya has had a ticket ready to leave Republic City for two weeks now. Tenzin certainly must have known. They had hung out nearly every day the past two weeks and he only brought it up the day _before_ Kya is supposed to leave. She could have boarded the ship without Lin ever knowing, and Lin would have only found emptiness where she once could find Kya. 

"I-I didn't know." 

Kya looks up at Lin, who is still standing next to her, at this. "It's not like we have spoken much in the past year, Lin." She can just stare, dumbfounded, at Kya's face until she motions Lin to sit down next to her.

"So, you're really leaving?" She still didn't want to believe Kya was no longer going to be around, likely not for a long time.

"Yeah. I just finished packing an hour ago."

All Lin could do was stare at the sea, like Kya just moments ago. Even an earthbender could start to see the appeal right now. 

Lin couldn't figure it out. She and Kya have not had a real conversation in so long. Yet she could feel her soul being ripped apart at the thought of her friend being gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
>  _If it's true that you are leaving_  
>  _And there is no turning back_
> 
> I will do my best to post weekly. I am currently struggling with chapters 5 and 6 (and also in the middle of finals) but hopefully they will be done by the time I have to post them. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as @vodka-and-tvshows


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to go up tomorrow but I know I won't have time for the next two days, so early it is! 
> 
> English isn't my first language, all mistakes are mine. If anything looks off just left me know!

**_Ya sé bien lo que dirás_ **

**_Ya sé que mentirás, no hay más_ **

Lin had avoided her since that day at the beach. Kya had hoped Lin would come around eventually so they could talk about what happened since Lin had sprinted to the ferry without saying a word. 

She finally sees Lin again after two weeks, the Beifongs were over at the island for dinner. She wanted to get her alone, no prying family members to overhear what she had to say. 

But every time she tried to get a moment with her, Lin was constantly next to Tenzin. She had sat next to him and Su at the table and would not look at Kya. Lin was fixated on whatever conversation she and Tenzin were having. After dinner she couldn’t find her, or Tenzin for that matter, either, and figured it would be too suspicious to ask Toph to find Lin through her seismic sense. She’d definitely know something was up and Kya doubted Lin would want her mother to know something was out of place.

Kya finally spots Lin as she and Tenzin are coming out of the meditation pavilion and _how hadn’t she thought of that before?_ Tenzin spent most of his time there lately and him and Lin had been glued to each other all evening. 

However, it doesn’t matter. Toph is calling for her daughters to head home. By the end of the night, she couldn’t get a moment alone with Lin, and Kya thinks it would be unlikely Lin would be showing up again on her own if the past two weeks were anything to go by.

When a month passes, Kya is watching her little brother get ready for a date with Lin.

It doesn’t take them long to start dating officially after that first date and Kya tries everything to get over her (very much still present) crush on Lin.

Kya didn’t think they would last long, but months pass, and Lin and Tenzin only seem closer. Lin is back to more regular visits to Air Temple Island, but she tries to avoid Kya as much as she can. Kya, in turn, does the same, mostly staying in her room or going out to the city with her friends. The less she has to see Lin the faster she can get over her crush. 

But every time she thinks she has accomplished that, she catches a glance of her in the gardens, or in the sparring grounds with Tenzin, or they have to see each other at dinner, and all the feelings she has been trying to bury come back to the surface. Kya’s heart aches. It shouldn’t hurt this much. Not having someone who was never yours in the first place.

* * *

Kya had taken to watching the sunset from the roof of their home lately. It's from there that she spots Lin and Tenzin sitting in the gardens. He must have said something to make her laugh because Lin is throwing her head back, a faint sound of her laughter reaches Kya, sending a bittersweet feeling to her stomach because that should be _her._

It should be Kya down there with Lin provoking the rare smile and even rarer laughter. Lin had always been so serious, even as a child. Kya loved doing everything in her power to listen to that sound coming from Lin. The real one, not the fake laughter Lin lets out when she knows it is expected of the situation.

It's in that moment that Kya decides she needs to leave. The world is closing in on her as she sees Lin and her brother. The two of them were happy together if the scene she witnessed was anything to go by. Kya can't keep lying to herself thinking one day Lin will realize she wanted her all along and not Tenzin. Spirits, she and Lin hadn't spoken more than a few words over dinner for the past year. What made her think Lin would leave her brother to be with her? It was delusional.

Before she could think too much about it, Kya hopped on the ferry to Republic City and got a ticket to the Fire Nation. She couldn’t be stuck in Republic City any longer, might as well start seeing the world.

As the days pass Kya tries to stay busy planning her destinations. The Fire Nation is only a temporary stop. She could even convince Izumi to take a small vacation with her to Ember Island for at least a week, and a little exploring of Capital City without her parents around would be exciting. She picked a few more destinations afterwards, but in the end decided to go where her feet took her. No need to overthink it. 

It turned out to be a good activity to get her head to stop thinking about a certain earthbender. She and her dad spent a lot of time talking about his travels with his friends when he was younger and how excited he was for her to experience the nomadic lifestyle. Her mom kept reminding her to send letters often, to be careful, and enjoy wherever she went. Her ulterior motive to go away almost seemed to have banished, replaced with a sense of anticipation. 

That is until the day before her departure when she saw Lin Beifong running towards her and asking if she was really leaving. 

It was foolish trying to tell Lin the truth, so she went with a half lie. It _was_ frustrating living in the city lately. Lin just didn’t need to know _why._ Kya figured, what else was there to lose? Lin didn’t want anything to do with her. Had barely spoken to her for the past year. This sudden line of interest about her leaving shouldn’t be of concern. Except that when Lin responds after staying quiet for a long while, Kya looks up at her from the sea and can detect hints of bewilderedness in her eyes. Torn between fear and confusion. 

"It's not like we have spoken much in the past year, Lin." It’s cruel, Kya knows it. But she needs to get her frustrations out, too.

And while Lin is lost staring at the sea in front of them, Kya allows herself a last moment of selfishness. She stares at Lin, committing to memory every detail. Her high cheekbones, the jet black hair, and the determined green eyes. 

Lin turns back to look at her. She doesn’t say a word, but her faces are so close to each other. Kya still remembers the softness of her lips and can’t help but lean in a little, giving the other girl time to pull away. Lin doesn’t close the distance, but she doesn’t pull apart either. When she closes her eyes, breathing becomes uneven, Kya decides to throw away all restraint she has had for the past year and closes the gap between the two.

It's simple at first, just a press of their lips together, too scared to frighten Lin and that she may run off again like last time. It takes Lin a few seconds to respond, wrapping her arms around her and Kya dares deepening the kiss, one hand going to the back of Lin’s hair and the other to her waist. She can feel more than hear a slight gasp from Lin but welcomes the new sensation. 

It is so frighteningly intimate, all Kya can sense is Lin. Lin, _Lin._ What she has been working so hard to extricate from her heart is overwhelming her senses and it feels _so good_ and Lin is _kissing her back._ Kya lets herself have a tiny speck of hope.

She is too scared to open her eyes when they pull apart for air. Knowing all might as well come crashing down when she does. When Lin doesn’t pull back from their position, foreheads touching, Kya indulges in the feeling of Lin’s skin against her own for a bit longer, taking in the fruity smell of her shampoo.

Once she opens her eyes Lin is looking at her, and Kya can’t contain her words. “Come away with me?” She can see the moment those green eyes turn from elated to apprehensive the second before looking away. The spell between them is broken as soon as she utters the question. Kya can already hear the excuses coming from Lin’s mouth before she even begins speaking. 

_My life is in Republic City._

_I start the academy soon._

_I can’t leave Su when mom is barely around._

_I’m with Tenzin._

She can feel a shift in Lin’s aura and notices it slowly turns murky red mixed with hints of dark yellow as she cites the reasons why she can’t leave. Only more confirmation to Kya of what she already knows. Lin is not even convinced of what she’s saying herself. But Kya lets her, knowing that when Lin was being stubborn nothing could change her conviction. She is leaving in the morning, anyway, might as well humor her one last time.

After Lin finishes her speech she looks, timidly, back to Kya as the older girl says “You need to stop being afraid of yourself, Lin.” 

She stares in shock at Kya after that statement, eyes wide, mouth agape. Until she can communicate her legs to her brain to move, and leaves Kya at the cliff where she found her earlier. Kya’s eyes sting, willing herself to not cry for Lin. She knew if she let a tear fall the others would soon follow. The least Kya needed right now was to give any explanations to her family, certainly not her brother, if they found her in such state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
>  _I know well what you will say_  
>  _I know you will lie, there's nothing left_
> 
> You can find me on tumblr! @vodka-and-tvshows


End file.
